a Long day....

Well yesterday I had a meeting at my son's school. My son has issues with speech, vision and I believe a degree of learning disability. I've been telling the school system since May of 08 that I want an evaluation done. It's a test to determine what he specific needs might be and how we can best help him. Well we met yesterday or rather I met with a team yesterday. They've decided he'll get help via their speech program *he goes to a private speech program done by ECU now* so that's great. But getting the evaluation done. Well, that's like pulling teeth. It's an issue because of his age. It's an issue because of the tests and so on and so on. They basically made me feel like his problems are my fault. He's behind and I get that. Is there more I can do, of course. I'm by no means a great parent, I try but I'm not perfect. But it really tees me off that I've been telling them since May he has needs and issues I want addressed and I want the testing done so we'll know exactly what areas need extra attention and maybe a way to offer him the extra help he needs. This is NOT the first they are hearing about this. They've suggested "strongly" that I remove him from 1st grade after 6 weeks in the class and put him back in Kindergarten. They made me feel as though they were hinting that because he went to a 1/2 program last year he's further behind than he might have been. I don't agree with that. His previous teacher was excellent, she helped him grow and learn a LOT last year. I don't think he would have done as well in a full day program. And my concerns are many about putting him back into 'K' now. I mean these kids will know he was demoted. I'm sorry they can say "we won't allow bullying or teasing" all they won't, it's not gonna stop it from happening. But then I have to wonder if it's better in the long run for him to redo "K" and maybe get ahead rather than being behind. I'm not sure if later in life he'll be upset that he's a year to two years older than everyone in his class. Which is more important his emotional and mental health and self-esteem or his education? And will his education do more to help his self-esteem than anything else? But then I wonder would he benefit from outside tutoring and extra help from the school, 30mins a day pulled out to practice and learn one on one with an LD teacher? I say he would benefit greatly from that, but I'm told they have temper that with what he'll miss in class. But I say "if you pull him out during reading to practice reading/writing one on one, what is he missing out on??" Is he not still learning what they are but in a one on one environment vs a situation of 22 or more students with one teacher? Am I so wrong in that? Why is it that my son is not extremely disabled, he's not Austic, he's not mentally slow, he's not suffering from disease or anything else, he just has a specific need and we can't get help. If he was a great student we'd get help, if he was severely in need we'd get help. But we fall in this little area of well he's not that stupid and he's not brilliant, you need to wait. We'll wait and see. Let's hold him back a year. But how he heck will that help him? Holding him back is all good and well if he still gets the programs he needs! If it's just so he can be in the same situation just being with younger kids and trying to learn the things he's already been through......well he had issues learning it then, what you think if you keep repeating the same information in the same why he'll just suddenly change and get it? I don't. He learns in a different way. I'm not sure what that way is. I'm not sure how to change things to help him. Basically we will end up falling through the cracks and he'll be a kid who ends up getting no help from anyone at the school system and it'll be "well if the parents......" Well his parents are trying and we aren't getting a dang thing. I want to know if NC made so much money on the lottery for education why can't a program be put in place to help kids like my son? What are we supposed to do? Just wait until he's older and others might finally see what I've been saying for 3yrs? What I'm his mom but I'm to stupid to see my child needs special and specific help? If you can't tell I'm still a bit teed. We are supposed to met again in about 2wks. No set date yet. And we'll go from there again. They want us in the meanwhile to consider pulling him from 1st and putting him in "K". I'm torn on this. And I'm still angry over it all. So I told the dh that he'll need to be off to go with me. I wanted to curse them out yesterday. So I don't think I should do this alone. I get too frustrated with it all and then I want someone to understand what I am trying to say. I know my son has speech issues that has delayed alot of his learning. He has vision issues that hasn't helped. But with the vision being corrected and the speech being dealt with we still have other issues. So I want to know what the root cause is of this issue and how to help him with it. I want answers not suggestions that I hold my son back another year. He is 7! I won't keep holding him back because they don't want to take the time to help him. He pulls down their scores. I'm not stupid. I know if he stays with the class he is now, he will likely hold them down on the EOGs next year and the next year, if they test in 2nd and I'm not sure they do. And it will affect them. So they figure hold him a year and let's see if he can catch up. If not we might try to do something. Yes this is how I feel they are treating us. We are a bother and they want us gone. If my son would do it, I'll pull him out and do homeschooling. A LOT easier on me, a better for him. But he likes going to school to play with the other kids. He wants to try this. And if he wants it then I want it for him. But I can't let him stay where he is and he's failing. He's not where the other kids are. He's struggling with the homework sometimes. He's got needs that I want met and his school is NOT doing this. So it's been a LONG day and I'm sure it'll be a LONG two weeks. I'm looking forward to this weekend and some time away. If anyone reads this and has advice or suggestions, websites, help I can get, I'd love to know about it.

hugs,
WendyK